How Not to Complete a Long Run

How not to complete a long run:

Step 1 – Discover Orange is the New Black while you are supposed to be relaxing in bed.  Binge watch it until almost 1:00pm.  (By the way, so far it amazing!)

Step 2 – Then toss and turn while getting increasingly mad that you are still awake.  Do this until at least 2:00, or maybe even 3:00.

Step 3 – Instantly turn your alarm off when it goes off at 6:00am and happily roll back over.

Step 4 – Finally wake up at 9:00.

Step 5 – Take your slow time getting out of the house because pre-run seems like the perfect time to plan your best friend’s birthday dinner with her. 

Step 6 – Finally, make it out of your house close to 10:00 when it is already 90 degrees (and rising), extremely humid, and disgustingly sunny. 

Step 7 – Ration your water poorly so you run out at mile 9. 

Step 8 – Notice around mile 10 that you are suddenly feeling nauseous and, strangely, no longer sweating, whereas before you were dripping buckets. 

Step 9 – Go for this run alone, so in case you pass out nobody is there. 

Step 10 – Decide that even though you feel as if you could finish the run it is better to walk the rest of the way home in order to avoid that whole passing out thing. 

And that my friends… is how not to complete a long run. 

Lesson learned next time I am not allowed to turn off my alarm. 

How NOT to Complete a Long Run: What lesson would you add? 


  1. says

    Passing out would be terrible. Glad you played it smart! But isn’t OISTNB amazing??

    I would add: run at an unsustainable pace for the first 3 miles.

  2. says

    I was thinking you watched OITNB on the TM, and was thinking “What could be wrong with that?!” So glad you stopped when you realized that you weren’t doing well. Someone at work passed out on a run a few weeks ago and it was hours before she was found!

  3. says

    I’ll have to check that show out.

    I never sleep well the night before a long run. Don’t know why, just doesn’t happen. I guess I’m always scared I’ll oversleep.

  4. says

    This post is too funny! I’m glad you played it smart during your run though and didn’t push your body to far. I’ve heard so many great things about that show but haven’t watched it yet.

  5. says

    I think you covered everything, but maybe next time, eat something questionable, just so you have the added drama of an upset tummy. You know, to really make it a total fail :)

    Sorry your long run was so tough. I hope you’re feeling better.

  6. says

    Stopping was definitely the right idea–stopping sweating is a really bad sign. You could always run doubles/split the run and do the rest of the mileage at night. Another way to not complete a long run: eat Taco Bell the night before your long run. :)

  7. says

    So glad that you made the choice to walk instead of risk passing out!!!
    Don’t you hate when you stay up super late and then can’t wake up when you plan to?!

  8. says

    Oh, hey you just described me EVER time I have to do a long run. (well, maybe not with the OITNB becase I finished that in oh, about 2 days), but it’s something. I would also add a step in there about blaming my cute cats because I can’t get out of bed when they are being so adorable and loveable.

  9. says

    Ugh – sorry!! Yeah I have been forcing myself up and out the door early on the weekends b/c of the heat & humidity for this very reason. Sometimes I want to run alone so there are no witnesses to a horrific run.

  10. says

    I am glad you stopped when you did! Not sweating is a sign of heat stroke so way to reverse the process immediately! Also – OITNB is pretty much the best thing to happen, ever. I’m in love.