Over a week ago in my Work in Progress post I admitted that I have been struggling recently with my binge eating. I know it is an eating disorder, just like any other, and because of that it takes time to overcome.
However, it is really frustrating because I tend to compare my binge issues to other things in my life. For example, that the doctor told me to go gluten free and boom – no gluten for over 7 months now; however, I cannot just quit binge eating like I quit gluten. I get frustrated and wish I could shut the binge eating off as easily as I stopped eating gluten, but I cannot. I am frustrated because I know it is bad for me, and that I feel even worse about myself after a big binge. However, in the midst of it all the flood gates open and there is no controlling the wave that hits, no logic, no thought, no weighing how it will affect me later.
I am really embarrassed to admit that even writing the post over a week ago didn’t seem to help me get things under control. In the past year I have been doing much better. I have only recently been having big, uncontrolled binges (jar of peanut butter, plus all the sliced cheese, plus all the lunch meat, plus making a batch of cookie dough, plus…) once a month or once every two months. I was happy because I was going further and further between binge incidents and I felt like I was making lots of progress. Then, after my blog post, I basically binged for a week straight. I just could not get it together. Every morning I would wake up with the best intentions, but by bedtime I had always had at least once huge binge. (Entire XL Hershey’s bar a student gave me, plus bag of Swedish fish from field day, plus box of crackers I bought, plus jar of peanut butter, plus bag of beef jerky, plus…)I am happy to say that I have finally snapped out of it and have been back on track for 4 days now. I feel so much better when I am eating right and not binging. I will continue to work on finding better ways to cope, so that I learn not to turn to binge eating. It is tough to get rid of a habit I have had for so long. However, I am aware of it, working on it, and I think that is the best I can do. I am really sticking to my Weight Watchers plan this week and I notice a big change in myself (my attitude, exercise, sleep, etc.) when I eat well instead of binging. I must keep reminding myself that it feels better to be on track.
Do you ever have any food struggles?
What do you do to cope with stress, sadness, etc.?