Less than a month, that is how long I have until the Marine Corp Marathon. My bib number was emailed me today and the normal excited, yet nervous feeling I have before marathons wasn’t there. I must be brutally honest with you – the feeling I had was – scared. Running, like life is so full of ups and downs and right now I am in a bit of a down.
I knew in April when I ran the Country Music Marathon that I probably wouldn’t meet my time goal because of my injuries, but I was 100% sure I would finish. I had completed every single long run and worked hard during training (even though I had to keep my runs at a slower pace than I would have liked). I finished the race, and while I didn’t meet my goals, I did set a PR. I told myself not to worry, I’d get healthier, my injuries would improve, things could only get better from here.
While I was SURE I’d be better for Marine Corp Marathon that is not the case. I have a new found foe in Plantar Fasciitis that is making this really tough. My body is fighting me and I’ve had to cut my last 4 long runs short. I haven’t finished a single run over 16 miles, I’ve skipped some short weekday runs, and I am terrified.
What if I cannot finish Marine Corp Marathon just like I cannot seem to finish a long run?
How funny that what I thought was horrid in April I now only wish I could achieve.
It’s so hard when I was expecting to improve this training cycle as my injuries improved and instead I am getting worse as new injuries pop up.
I’m not sure what to do so I just keep putting my feet one Mizuno in front of the other.
I remind myself that goals can change and my goal now is to finish MCM, no set time in mind, and then to focus on New Orleans.
I tell myself that my stubborn determination alone will get me through this race.
My virtual training buddy and marathon roommate Sarah, of momrunningonempty, talks me down off the Poor Me Marathon Pity Wagon at least once a day.
I wonder what would it be like to marathon train without being injured.
I take desperate measures, like ice baths, in hopes they help.
I informed my sports medicine chiropractor that we are officially in a long term relationship. Until the day I decide to stop marathon running he and I have set weekly appointments to fix me up, and answer my million injury questions. Yes, I have talked to him about all this and he still thinks I can tackle MCM.
So what is the verdict?
Time to pull my big girl (chafe proof) panties up, admit that I will probably not reach my goals, but know that I will finish, and stop acting like such a downtrodden sad sap. I’m so stubborn I will crawl across that line if I have to and I must believe that I am capable of finishing no matter what. Fake it until you make it right? When you are suddenly doubting yourself what do you do to regain the faith?