Trying to be strong. I am usually very positive, but I finally broke, big ol’ alligator tears. I feel like running and I have broken up and I love running so it hurts like hell (I guess breakups always do when you’re the one getting broken up with). I know I’ll be back, but today was especially tough. I missed the Isle of Palms Connector Run 10K I was supposed to do today, already deferred MCM this month, and have the Kiawah Island half in exactly 2 months. There is no way I will be ready for Kiawah I can barely walk let alone build back up to running 13.1 miles (and of course it has no deferment option).
The final breaking point though – My leg is getting worse not better. Today for the first time my left leg couldn’t support my weight in barre class, it started quivering more than the normal, then quaking like crazy, and luckily the instructor grabbed me right before it gave out and I collapsed to the floor. I stayed brave through the rest of class and just didn’t do lots of the moves, but I lost it as soon as I got in the car. I hate that it hurts more, that I really haven’t used my legs in over a month, that this is making my body so much weaker. ugggg…..
I didn’t want to share this at first because I felt like such a wuss crying over my leg when there are so many more important things in life, but my blog is about brutally, honestly sharing my journey to be healthy and fit. The truth is this sucks, but it is all part of my journey. I will have beautiful moments and I will have moments like this, but I must keep remaining myself I will come back, I will run again. I am better than this!
Insert tons of motivational mantras here:
Not now doesn’t mean not ever.
Just because I cannot run doesn’t mean I am not a runner
Don’t call it a comeback- Comebetter!
P.S.- Thanks to the tons of people who left amazing, inspiring comments on Instagram when I went crazy and put this out there. This fitness community really helps me more than you all could ever know.
Who do you turn to when you need to vent, cry, ask for help?